Thursday, October 12, 2006

I am so depressed now

I went to the neurosurgeon today. I had high hopes that he could fix me, that something could be done.

I was wrong.

He took a look at my MRI films and said "Here's the tiny herniation. Here's the dried out disk. There's no nerves involved. There's nothing I can do. To help, stay slim and do some core exercises. Any weight you carry in the front is going to make it worse."

Great. I get to live with this pain for the rest of my life. Not only that but I have to find a way to lose weight - as if I haven't been trying to do so for the last 6-7 years? Accordingly, if carrying more weight up front is going to make it worse...guess who doesn't get to be pg? That's Unless we decide the risk is worth it - but last week and the week before I could barely walk. I don't know what's going to happen if I add another 50 pounds on my front side.

I'm so depressed and upset. I can't decide if I want to scream or cry...or both. I have been on the verge of tears for the last two hours. This guy was my only hope of being fixed - and now I know that, as usual, no doc can ever help me.

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