Wednesday, April 28, 2010


Strict OK Abortion Measures passed

Read that article. It talks about two bills that were passed in OK yesterday.

The first bill requires that women who are getting an abortion, regardless of reason, watch an ultrasound of THEIR FETUS and listen to a detailed description of it. The doctor MUST set the monitor up so the woman can see it and then point out heart, limbs, organs. No exceptions - not for those who were raped, or victims of incest, or terminating because the child will not survive outside the womb. This is absolutely barbaric. I believe it to be unconstitutional - it should fall under "cruel and unusual punishment". It's hard enough for women to get abortions as it is - pickets standing outside telling her she's a murderer, and let's not discount the emotional cost to a woman. She may not realize it at the time, but she will later. They are setting women up for mass amounts of PTSD. I wouldn't be surprised if the next part of this bill becomes "Make the woman watch the ultrasound machine while you perform the abortion itself, and then show her the remains". It's like we've stepped back 600 years, to when women weren't thought of as intelligent. Do they think we don't know what the fetus looks like? Do they think women just casually go "oh dear, I'm pregnant and I don't want to be. Guess I'll go down to the corner clinic and get an abortion."? I'm pretty sure there's a lot of debating and thinking and crying that goes on before the decision is made. This is just...barbaric. It's really the only word I can come up with.

The second bill prevents doctors from being sued if they failed to give the parents information on defects while the child was still in utero. So doctors no longer have to give that information out, because they are protected. If they don't give the info out, the parents can't prepare for it - or decide to terminate. Oh! But if they DO decide to terminate, refer to bill #1.

It looks like there are two other bills expected to pass as well. One makes the woman fill out a long form stating why she wants an abortion - which will then be put online as part of statistics. Talk about violation of privacy! One can only hope that they are least keep the personal information confidential and just use the numbers. But again, this is already hard enough, emotionally - why make it harder? The second bill restricts insurance coverage - but most insurance companies I know don't' cover it anyways.

Do they really think a woman who wants an abortion is going to say "there's too many hoops, I'm not doing it"? No, she'll find a back alley somewhere and have someone do it. Or pay to have someone hit her enough that she miscarries. Or she'll take drugs that will cause a miscarriage. And should all that fail, she'll have the child and hide it in a dumpster.

I hope that OK is prepared to deal with the consequences of their actions. I hope they have counseling services available, starting now, for all the shit that is going to hit the fan.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Still undecided...and rambling.

I am still undecided on the issue I mentioned in the prior post. Do I? Do I not? Does it really matter? Will it help someone? Will it harm me to dredge it all up again on "paper"? Do I want it out there for everyone to read? If I DO submit, do I do it under Tigger or another name? Do I link back to here or not? It's not like family knows about either blog, and neither do my friends. Well, they know I have one but they don't know where it is. And I've been careful (I think) not to associate my real name with them so they can't find me. And my story is...a lot of vagueness. A lot of misty thoughts, memories, etc. There are only a few concrete things, and even those are...not remembered so well.
In other news...well, there really isn't any. The weather might be shaping up so I can start walking again. I tried to get into a clinical research trial for neuropathic pain, but they think my fibro is going to exclude me. I don't know WHY, when fibro IS neuropathic pain...but whatever.

I was doing some research today and found a lot of really interesting info on fibro from a biological standpoint. It got me to thinking: I was diagnosed with TMJ when I was 16, and hypoglycemia at 17. I have had so many digestive issues over the years. If someone comes up and pokes me, or I brush up against something, I feel a "memory" of that for a good 5-10 minutes...and have recently discovered that not everyone feels that! I never knew it was unusual. I thought I had really tense muscles or good muscle memory!

I often get asked by docs if anything worsens my symptoms and when I tell them yes, everything...they look at me blankly. I'm not sure why: An epidemiology study consisting of an internet-based survey of 2,596 people with fibromyalgia reported that the most frequently cited factors perceived to worsen fibromyalgia symptoms were emotional distress (83%), weather changes (80%), sleeping problems (79%), strenuous activity (70%), mental stress (68%), worrying (60%), car travel (57%), family conflicts (52%), physical injuries (50%) and physical inactivity (50%). Other factors included infections, allergies, lack of emotional support, perfectionism, side effects of medications, and chemical exposures. (Same wiki article I linked before) And they wonder why I tell them everything makes it worse, nothing makes it better.

After reading this article and a few others, I at least feel a little better mentally. I've been wondering if it really WAS all in my head (well, it is because it's my brain that doesn't work, which we all know, but you know what I mean...) and that I was imagining things. I've wondered why it settles in my hips, when there is nothing wrong with them. I wondered why it hurts more when I've been resting and not when I'm working - but I hurt like a mother fucker when I'm done cleaning.

I still rage against this disease that isn't really classified as a disease, but must be a disease because insurance companies don't have codes for imaginary things. I hate having this - I doubt anyone likes it - but I can't fix it. It's gotten to the point where I can't wash my own hair, because I can't keep my arms up long enough to get all the soap out (my hair is 19" long, but I really don't want to cut it). I can't brush my hair after the shower either - my husband has to help me with both things. This interferes with my life and personal care...and yet it is not eligible for disability because it isn't REAL. There is no "scientific test" that will detect it, no lab work, nothing. You can have some symptoms and not others, some people have a little pain, others so much it's not to be belived. And, it's not REAL. I could scream.