Sunday, April 30, 2006

And here we go again....

woke up this morning with my favorite visitor. That's right...AF arrived for cycle 33! And this time she snuck up on me because I wasn't paying attention to my chart. I guess now I know why I was so very grouchy yesterday...bah!

This is getting so old. I ought to just quit's not like it matters anyhow. I'm probably never going back to the RE, I haven't temped in 6 months (ever since we got the results of DH's SA test), I take opk's every few months just to make sure I know what's going on with me. But it really just doesn't matter's not going to happen and I should just get used to it.

Somehow, though, I can't give up. Maybe it's because I've been doing this for 26 months. Maybe it's just become such habit that I can't...the behavior is ingrained. I'll probably be counting my cycles until I'm 50! Why can't I just let it go? Why do I put myself through this every month, knowing it's not doing to do any good?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

JEN my dh didnt have the sperm count issue we were diagnosed as unknown inf. i finally got pg 3 yrs later after the baby was 5 mo old we quit using bc and it took 2 yrs for me to become pg again i mc at 11 weeks and it took one more yr for me to get pg again so i have 2 little darlings just shy of 4 yrs apart it is rough ttc i finally had stopped temping and using opks and tried to go with if it happens it happens mode but when af made here arrival i was a mess i had all but given up on #2 when i found out i was pg ,long story short me and dh divorced when baby was 7 mo old. i eventually ended up with a great guy and after 5yrs he wanted to try having a baby i told him about the struggle and heart ach but decided that with the drs blessing i would give it a go --after 6 mo off the pill i was pg its been a rough pg complete with bed rest but i consider it a blessing i made it so far to 36 weeks and baby look great

hoping this gives you some hope