My world

I hope someone is still checking on me from time to time. I know it's been over a month since my last post, but perhaps when you read this you'll understand why.

I had finals the week before Christmas. I managed to pull an A- in my Medical Terminology class, B+ in Intro to Computers (Access kicked my ass), a C+ in Business Communications (despite not doing 2 major projects) and a C in my Anatomy class. Not too shabby, all things considered.

The day after finals were completed we left to go to my parents house to celebrate Christmas over the weekend. That Saturday we met my sister in Jackpot, NV and she brought my brother with her. I had paid for his bus ticket to her house and the ticket from my parents' house back to his place in Vegas. The first words out of my brother's mouth were "Look at that end table ass!" to which I replied "and look who's going to get his ribs broken if he doesn't watch his mouth". Lovely greeting for siblings who haven't seen each other in about 7 years, huh? The visit with my brother actually went pretty well. He's changing for the better, I think. We've been in contact since then, a few phone calls and text messages. Mom's happy.

Mom had another treatment the day after Christmas. She had a major allergic reaction to the chemo, which I guess they've been anticipating a bit. Apparently a lot of people have allergic reactions to it and when they do, it's usually around treatment 7 or 8...and that was mom's 7th treatment that year. She hadn't quite recovered from it before she had her next one, which was on the 16th of this month. She had to have a blood transfusion of 2 units because she was anemic. Dad was going to be busy between work and meetings and stuff for 4 days after her treatment so I went down on Thursday to take care of her. Good thing I did, I guess. I spent 4 lovely days cleaning up poop and puke, as well as doing dishes and laundry for her.

I came home on Sunday, because school started Tuesday. Monday mom called me and said I had to come back down to take care of her - she'd just thrown up all over herself and was rather upset. I guess throwing up from chemo is different than throwing up when you're sick - you don't have any warning. Monday night she got a bloody nose that they couldn't get to stop - they even tried shoving cotton balls up her nose! She laid down, but that didn't work - she started coughing up blood from it all draining. Dad took her to the ER Tuesday morning and she was anemic again. Her kidney function was also down to 15%, from 50% last Wednesday. She was supposed to get another transfusion but they didn't have the blood/platelets she needed, so they scheduled it for Wednesday morning. After that transfusion she had to go see the oncologist. The onco did a scan of kidney/spleen/bladder and didn't find anything, but she has to go in today, Friday, and Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday for saline infusions to try and jumpstart her kidneys.

Classes started Tuesday. I'm only taking 3 classes this semester for a total of 8 credits. I have Physiology (and lab), Document Processing, and Weight Management. After last semester I needed a light load. It's good, too, because it means I can go take care of mom after her treatments. My classes are relatively easy, so I can skip them if I need to. The only hard one is Physiology, and I've already made arrangements to get notes. I've talked with 2 of my professors and let them know what's going on with mom, and both have been understanding about me potentially missing classes and will work with me. One of them (my favorite, Dr. Lonsdale) suggested I go talk to one of the school counselors to help me, so I have an appointment on Monday with the one she recommended to me.

I started going to a new pain care doc in December. He was willing to switch me from Lyrica/Welbutrin back to the Cymbalta. I gained 20 pounds on the Lyrica in just a few months - I can't handle that, and I can't afford the meds. The doc is slowly upping my Cymbalta to the correct 120mg dosage to handle fibromyalgia. If I can remember to take them, I'll be doing good. I'm not so good at that part - but if I go more than a few days without, I hurt like an SOB. Like today. Today is a bad day - hip is killing me and I have weight management class this afternoon. I don't know what's going to be involved, but I'm really hoping it's not exercise today. I don't want to have to get a docs note saying I have fibro and have limitations, especially since he seems to think that doing group activities (such as swimming classes) or a lot of walking will help. I've ranted about that before - today just reaffirms my beliefs.

In between all this, I've been playing WoW and trying to function. I'm depressed to the point where I'm having a hard time getting out of bed, and when I DO manage to get up I don't want to do anything. I don't want to get dressed, take a shower, eat, leave the house...nothing. I just want to shut myself in my computer room and stay there. I promise I'll try to do better at writing again, especially now that I'm back in school and there are things going on. I have been a very bad friend - I apologize to those who write blogs, as I haven't been reading them for the past several weeks. I"m working on getting caught up, but if you'd all do me a favor and just leave a comment letting me know any major (or minor/exciting) developments in your life (good and bad) perhaps it will be a bit easier. If you're still here, thanks for sticking around. If you've stumbled over to me from Mel's Creme de la Creme, welcome to my place - I don't write regularly, but I try. I"m sorry this post is rambly - I hope it makes sense. It's a bit like my head these days.