Thursday, January 31, 2008

Snow and other rants

I hate the snow. I mean, I really hate it. I sit in my house and I look out the window and I curse at the evil snow that is falling from the sky. When it's not snowing, but there's snow on the ground, I look out my window and I curse the snow that's on the ground. Leaving the house when there's snow involves lots of cursing and grumbling and whining. Need I mention that my house is full of cuss words right now? It's been snowing all month! The 30-year average for the month of January is 4.2 inches...so far this year we've had 11.2!!! THERE'S SO MUCH GOD DAMNED FUCKING SNOW ON THE GROUND!

There is no end in sight.

According to the weather forecasters it's going to snow all week. As a matter of fact, they won't be at all surprised if this trend continues through February. I can't take it. It's cold and wet and slippery and cold and messy and did I mention cold? And evil? According to weather.com, it's currently 31* but feels like 17*, with winds from 25-30 mph gusts. IT'S COLD! It feels every degree of 17* and even that's warm compared to what I feel like it feels.

It's funny how life changes us. As a kid I loved the snow. LOVED it. Go outside and make snow forts and angels and have snowball fights. Even as a teen, impromptu snowball fights were common. I didn't mind the cold and often didn't wear gloves. Now...I hate the snow with an equal amount of fervor. Even a small bit of snow is enough to make me grumble, even when it doesn't make the road slick. I hate the cold - I hate being cold. I can never get warm in the winter. I'm afraid of falling; falling hurts a lot. All I want to do is sleep...I'm beginning to think I'm part bear. I'd like to hibernate for the whole winter.

Aaron says I'm depressed. With all this snow, who wouldn't be? (except you crazy people who actually LIKE this stuff) But even before the snow started falling I was evincing some major signs. All I want to do is sleep - and when I'm not sleeping, I want to be locked in my computer room playing games. Just leave me alone. I haven't seen our friends in almost a month...mostly because that would require me to leave the house. They WERE gaming over at our place on Sundays, before break, but Fred and Wilma decided THEY wanted to play again too...and that means gaming at their place because of the kids. Saturday nights are the only time that works for everyone, so Aaron goes over around 9pm (when Fred gets off work) and doesn't come home until about 2:30am. I get up at 5:30 Saturday mornings to go to work - the last thing I want to do is stay up until 3:00am Sunday! So I haven't been going. I"m going to start though - I need to get out of the house more. I miss my friends, I miss Wilma's son, I have to force myself to go out. I'm also exhausted all the time. Not sleepy-tired, just exhausted feeling. I guess that's a sign too.

I don't know what I'm going to do about my bio lab. I spent two hours in class this morning not understanding half of what was said. I have to go, to take a quiz. I can't afford to miss them. But it feels like a waste of my precious sleeping time to go where I'm not learning. If I go in and just take the quiz, then I have 4 hours before my next class. More wasting of time. I tried to see if there was a later lab available but I can't unless I drop my class and re-add it...which I don't want to do because I could get locked out. I'm just at a loss and might have to go talk to my advisor, who I believe to be a waste of the skin she's made of. Her brain cells (what few she has) could benefit someone who might actually use them.

Ok...enough ranting for now. My hands are frozen and it hurts to keep typing. I have typing class in an hour or so - maybe I'll go early and get the work done then. :)

7 comments:

Jess said...

I'm sorry you've got snow (and hate it, I'd love to have a little here!!).

Good luck on your school stuff!

Dr. Grumbles said...

We don't get snow where I live, so it is easy to romanticize it. The first time I saw snow (in a Feb trip to northern Arizona), I was actually shocked at how messy and icky it was. It never looked like that in the movies!

As for your lab, at least you show up for the quizzes. I have students who never catch on that missing quizzes pulls down their grades even more. I hope the class situation gets better!

IdleMindOfBeth said...

Just saw your comment on the Lushary, and wanted to come over and offer you some support.

I have no idea what the right words are, or if they even exist, but I wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

I love snow, but sometimes it is damned depressing. And when you're already depressed, it's hard to believe you can be even more depressed.

I hope things improve for you (all things considered), but more importantly, I wanted to tell you - as a long term depressive myself - that thought it may not seem like it, this too shall pass. Life will get better...but perhaps not any time soon. Sometimes, all we can do is wallow, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Besides, you're under a tremendous amount of pressure - who the hell wouldn't be depressed?

Jess said...

Tigger,

I just read your comment on Mel's blog today and wanted to say that I'm so sorry about your mom's cancer.

I lost a grandpa to cancer when I was younger, and that was hard enough. I can't tell you how sorry I am that the situation with your mom isn't looking better. Please let me know if there's anything you ever want to talk about, even if it's just to vent.

:(

sharah said...

Tigger, I dropped by from the Lushuary. I'm so sorry that you're having to go through all this shit right now, all at the same time. I'll be thinking of you, even if you're not posting. And if you start a new blog, please let me know.

Many hugs your way, babe.

Soapchick said...

I am very sorry to hear about your mother. I haven't lost a parent, but I've lost two very close girlfriends to cancer and I'm about to lose an ex-boyfriend/now friend to cancer as well. I was a caregiver for one of my friends up to the last week of her life. If I can help you in any way as you walk this journey with your mom, I'd be honored.