It seems they're everywhere. I've been trying to read new blogs in the past few weeks, stemming from the creme-de-la-creme post I mentioned before. I've been visiting blogs, and going to other blogs from there. And it seems like almost every single damn one of them is pregnant, when I look at their current postings. It's a slap every time, too. These people wrote such heartwrenching posts at some point last year, about their journey and where they were and what they had gone through...and now they're pregnant. Is that the key? Do I need to make a soulrending post about my infertility and hope that the BFP Fairy takes pity on me?
I don't mean to sound bitter, but I think I am. It keeps feeling like I'm the only infertile blogger left - well, me and Wendy, and this guy's wife. Everyone else is pregnant, in one stage or another, and it's bringing to the surface all the anger I thought was gone. I thoughts I wasn't angry about not having a child, about the definite possibility that I will be 35 before I get to go through treatments again. I thought I was done being bitter that those around me seem to get pregnant at the drop of a hat, and that most of the people I know who are infertile are now joining the preggo world.
I guess not.
5 hours ago
3 comments:
Just stumbled across your blog. I know how you feel. I really appreciate the friends I've met here but although I am truly happy to find out they're pregnant, I can't stick around reading much of their posts as I used to. Just hearing them describe the surprise and the beauty in experiencing pregnancy makes me envious. But I definitly know they deserve it. It just gets me thinking about my situation. Although their success stories give me hope.
It's hard not to be bitter, and hard not to be hard on yourself for being bitter. Be a bit easier on yourself, if you can. All good wishes to you.
Thanks girls - I appreciate the support more than you could know. Or maybe you do know. :) Either way, thank you so much!
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