Saturday, September 03, 2011

Let's pretend! *updated*

*UPDATE: I have added more links under both personal support and other posts about this meme*
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Have you seen the newest FB meme going around? The one that wants you to follow the list and put how many weeks faux-pregnant you are and what you're craving, based on your birth month and year? (for example, I'd be 6 weeks and craving pickels) Somehow it's supposed to raise awareness for breast cancer. I'll wait for you to think about that.

Yeah, how many weeks pretend pregnant I am does WONDERS for breast cancer awareness. Especially when we're not supposed to tell the male half of the gender world what it's about. Because, you know, they aren't affected at all. They NEVER get breast cancer. They NEVER have wives, sisters, mothers, friends, girlfriends, daughters, sons, brothers, fathers who get breast cancer. Nope. Your infertile friends are sure to understand when they find out it's "just a game", right?

I'm seriously pissed, but I couldn't figure out how to phrase what I was pissed about. And thus, I stole someone else's status from her blog post (with permission, of course). I'm quite certain I'm going to catch hell for it, but you know what? I don't care. I know we infertiles are just "too sensitive" to not being able to have children. We somehow think we're "entitled" to sensitivity. Yes, these are things I've heard over the past few years. And do you remember my post a few months ago, about being told that I was "getting a lot of slack because people know I'm never going to [get to] be pregnant again"?

So, you want to raise awareness (because somehow there's someone who isn't aware of breast cancer or how to detect it when we are bombarded with information all the time) or donate to finding a cure? Here's some places where you can go to help:

Susan G Komen Foundation
National Breast Cancer Foundation
American Cancer SocietyBreast Cancer Society

And that's just for starters, places I found with a few simple clicks of the mouse and help from google.

Here's a few people who could use personal or financial support:

Sunshine for Karen (The SIL of a friend, who is going through breast cancer treatments with very little insurance.)
Cancer and Other Hiccups  (personal blog of friend Silverlupus, about her fight with breast cancer. She can always use more support)
Cancer and Other Hiccups Facebook (facebook page of Silverlupus)



Lest you think I'm alone in my anger:
Pretending you're pregnant isn't cute
Breast Cancer Awareness Fail
Pretending you're pregnant makes people truly understand breast cancer
It's Still September, Guys
Raising awareness: you're doing it wrong
Addressing the Pretending Like You're Pregnant Mess on Facebook
Facebook has Crossed the Line
I'm 0 Weeks and Craving a Baby
I'm Pregnant! Just kidding?
I'm Zero Weeks and Craving a Baby 
  (yes, this is a different blog post from the one listed just above it by a similar name)
"It's Just a Game"...Except When It's Not
and I'm Craving...
Pretend Pregnancies Aren't Funny in Any Situation
I Like It on the Kitchen Table
Weeks in Facebook Status
  (the post is just info, but check out the comments!)
I'm 8 Weeks and Craving Kit Kats for Breast Cancer
How facebook can raise awareness of just how thoughtless and ignorant you are
In the name of awareness
   (this one is about last years 'bra color' meme, but it is very relevant)
Friday Night Leftovers
More Facebook Action in Defense of Infertiles
I'm No Weeks and I'm Craving Nothing
On courage, "that" facebook meme, and coming out of the infertility closet
That Facebook Thing
Those Dang Facebook GamesRegarding the Facebook "Breast Cancer Awareness" game
Influx of Pregnancy? Nope.
Spoilsport

Those are only the ones I've found so far. I'm sure there are many many more among the bloggers I don't read, and that haven't posted somewhere that they've written a post about it. This hits me on two fronts - the infertility (just because I managed to get lucky and get pregnant AND keep it AND have a healthy child does NOT mean I am no longer infertile, or that it's not still a button for me) and the cancer front - I'm sure my mother would have benefited GREATLY from all these fucking posts about breast cancer. I mean, it could have made a WORLD of difference to her. Yup.

This meme has made several people cry, others to block their friends, torn some people apart. Before you participate in these idiotic games, take a minute to think: is there anyone on your friends list that you care about who might be hurt by this?

12 comments:

MrsSpock said...

Thanks for posting my SIL's cancer find site!

aprilvak said...

Great post!! Now, to let everyone know about it, I'll change my fb status to, let's say, 'the sky is green.' But don't let anybody else know what I'm talking about!! That way everyone will understand because they're confused, right?

Thanks for the link!

Silverlupus said...

<3 Thanks for voicing what we're all thinking, hun!!

Ranae said...

I also wrote a post about this completely insensitive game and you can add it to your list.
thejourneyididntexpect.blogspot.com

Thanks for sticking up for those without a voice.

Kimberly B. said...

Hi Tigger, I found your site through yesterday's fallout on Mel's comments. When I could no long talk sense politely in comments I took my frustrations out on my own blog. If you find it helpful, you are welcome to use it.

http://almostbatten.blogspot.com/2011/09/pretend-pregnancies-are-not-funny-in.html

FyreFry5 said...

Great post! Please add my post about this to your list. http://twoweekspregnant.blogspot.com/2011/09/i-like-it-on-kitchen-table.html

Alana said...

I also found you via Mel's comments. And I too posted on the subject, feel free to add me if you'd like. :)

http://alana-isms.blogspot.com/2011/09/friday-night-leftovers-back-to-school.html

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I never received the actual email about the game or I would have SCREAMED over the idea of men being excluded once again. I think that's actually the starting point -- anything that excludes 50% of the population (and 100% of that 50% has the potential to be affected by breast cancer) has already lost me.

jjiraffe said...

Here's my post: http://jjiraffe.wordpress.com/2011/09/06/on-courage-that-facebook-meme-and-coming-out-of-the-infertility-closet/

Thanks for doing this!

kh99 said...

Thanks so much for including a link to my post! This meme is awful, and anything we can do to raise awareness is welcome.

St Elsewhere said...

LOLOL....yup, I posted on it too.

Because ....*surprise*....as soon as I read x weeks and craving x, my general awareness of breast cancer went through the roof and I needed space to store my spare grey cells.

I have a serious doubt though - the person who thought of that meme must not have considered at all what effect it would have, once unleashed.

I wanted to thank you for the comment on my blog. If our family/friends become more understanding and sensitive looking at our struggles, that would be some benefit out of all this ordeal.

AP said...

Thank you so much for your comments on my blog. It's so comforting to know that other people going into this have felt the same way. Oh, and I would LOVE any formula tips you can offer!

AP