Birthdays

Tomorrow is mine. I will be all of 31 - and I'm not sure what to do with that. Unlike Mel, I don't particularly like celebrating my birthdays anymore. I don't really hate them, but I'm not overly fond of them either. People keep asking me what I want - I don't really want anything and I don't really need anything either. I hate it when other people buy me clothes, which is usually what I "need" most often. I prefer gift certs, so i can go get my own stuff on my own time. Right now, I want gift certs to Lowe's or Home Depot so we can get paint for the house. Totally practical, I know, but no one seems to understand that THAT is one of the best things they can get me right now. THIS is what I want, to get the smoke and pee out of my house.

When I was growing up I always had birthday parties and I couldn't understand why my parents didn't have them. I remember asking mom about that one year and she said "Someday, honey, you'll realize that birthdays have lost their importance. You have so many that they just don't matter anymore." To my child brain, this made no sense - how could you NOT have a celebration and get lots of gifts and cake and stuff?! I think I understand. I don't want my friends and family to feel compelled to get me stuff - I know how rough money can be, how hard it can be to find time to go shopping, what a pain in the ass it can be to find the right gift. (Yet another reason why I like gift certs - the person can get what they want and I don't have to figure it out!)

I was thinking the other day about what I truly want (besides gift certs) for my birthday and realized that it's actually pretty simple, although not likely to happen:

I want my family and friends to remember it's my birthday without me having to remind them, for the umpteenth time this month.

I want them to listen to me when I tell them what's important - for me to get my house fixed.

I want to be able to enjoy my birthday for the first time in a long time - I'll actually be able to drink if I feel like it. And we're going to the beach...although it's supposed to rain all weekend. So I guess I want the weather to cooperate for once as well.

And now...although I DON'T want to...it's time for me to go to work. Blech.