Monday, August 06, 2012

Still here?

According to my stats page for both blogs, I've still got people coming to visit this place. I'm not here any more. I've moved over here, to my new digs. Pretty please, update your bookmarks so you don't have to keep clicking through. If I could figure out how to do a redirect, I would, but I fail. Thanks for reading!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

New Digs (updated)

I am working on moving this blog over to wordpress. I've been here an awfully long time, but...I feel it is time for a change. Once I get it set up, I will put a redirect post here so that no one misses me - and I'll remember to update Mel. Who knows - maybe I'll move BOTH blogs over there!!

Update: New address Please change our your bookmarks/subscriptions on your reader so you can keep up with all my non-happenings. :D

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Let's pretend! *updated*

*UPDATE: I have added more links under both personal support and other posts about this meme*

Have you seen the newest FB meme going around? The one that wants you to follow the list and put how many weeks faux-pregnant you are and what you're craving, based on your birth month and year? (for example, I'd be 6 weeks and craving pickels) Somehow it's supposed to raise awareness for breast cancer. I'll wait for you to think about that.

Yeah, how many weeks pretend pregnant I am does WONDERS for breast cancer awareness. Especially when we're not supposed to tell the male half of the gender world what it's about. Because, you know, they aren't affected at all. They NEVER get breast cancer. They NEVER have wives, sisters, mothers, friends, girlfriends, daughters, sons, brothers, fathers who get breast cancer. Nope. Your infertile friends are sure to understand when they find out it's "just a game", right?

I'm seriously pissed, but I couldn't figure out how to phrase what I was pissed about. And thus, I stole someone else's status from her blog post (with permission, of course). I'm quite certain I'm going to catch hell for it, but you know what? I don't care. I know we infertiles are just "too sensitive" to not being able to have children. We somehow think we're "entitled" to sensitivity. Yes, these are things I've heard over the past few years. And do you remember my post a few months ago, about being told that I was "getting a lot of slack because people know I'm never going to [get to] be pregnant again"?

So, you want to raise awareness (because somehow there's someone who isn't aware of breast cancer or how to detect it when we are bombarded with information all the time) or donate to finding a cure? Here's some places where you can go to help:

Susan G Komen Foundation
National Breast Cancer Foundation
American Cancer SocietyBreast Cancer Society

And that's just for starters, places I found with a few simple clicks of the mouse and help from google.

Here's a few people who could use personal or financial support:

Sunshine for Karen (The SIL of a friend, who is going through breast cancer treatments with very little insurance.)
Cancer and Other Hiccups  (personal blog of friend Silverlupus, about her fight with breast cancer. She can always use more support)
Cancer and Other Hiccups Facebook (facebook page of Silverlupus)

Lest you think I'm alone in my anger:
Pretending you're pregnant isn't cute
Breast Cancer Awareness Fail
Pretending you're pregnant makes people truly understand breast cancer
It's Still September, Guys
Raising awareness: you're doing it wrong
Addressing the Pretending Like You're Pregnant Mess on Facebook
Facebook has Crossed the Line
I'm 0 Weeks and Craving a Baby
I'm Pregnant! Just kidding?
I'm Zero Weeks and Craving a Baby 
  (yes, this is a different blog post from the one listed just above it by a similar name)
"It's Just a Game"...Except When It's Not
and I'm Craving...
Pretend Pregnancies Aren't Funny in Any Situation
I Like It on the Kitchen Table
Weeks in Facebook Status
  (the post is just info, but check out the comments!)
I'm 8 Weeks and Craving Kit Kats for Breast Cancer
How facebook can raise awareness of just how thoughtless and ignorant you are
In the name of awareness
   (this one is about last years 'bra color' meme, but it is very relevant)
Friday Night Leftovers
More Facebook Action in Defense of Infertiles
I'm No Weeks and I'm Craving Nothing
On courage, "that" facebook meme, and coming out of the infertility closet
That Facebook Thing
Those Dang Facebook GamesRegarding the Facebook "Breast Cancer Awareness" game
Influx of Pregnancy? Nope.

Those are only the ones I've found so far. I'm sure there are many many more among the bloggers I don't read, and that haven't posted somewhere that they've written a post about it. This hits me on two fronts - the infertility (just because I managed to get lucky and get pregnant AND keep it AND have a healthy child does NOT mean I am no longer infertile, or that it's not still a button for me) and the cancer front - I'm sure my mother would have benefited GREATLY from all these fucking posts about breast cancer. I mean, it could have made a WORLD of difference to her. Yup.

This meme has made several people cry, others to block their friends, torn some people apart. Before you participate in these idiotic games, take a minute to think: is there anyone on your friends list that you care about who might be hurt by this?

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Unglued and milestones

I figured I probably better update on everything going on for the past month. My last post was that the Boy had rolled back to front. That night we also put him in the crib for the night for the first time. The next day he was sick - as in "throwing up 9 times in 7 /12 hours" sick. I called the on-call people, who told me to give him pedialyte and no formula for 24 hours. Seemed to have done the trick because he wasn't sick the next day.

I caught myself going "maybe it was the crib" and "maybe I shouldn't put him in there" and all sorts of other dire things. I realized I was being neurotic, so back into the crib the child went on Sunday night. (Saturday night I kept him in the bassinet that we still haven't taken down, just so I was near.) He's been in the crib every night since and most of the time he sleeps through the night. On occasion he will wake up at 3-4am, and I always know when it's going to happen - it's the nights that he doesn't go to sleep right after eating because he's fighting it and it takes us an hour to get him down. Those are the nights that I know I'm going to get woken up for a feed. Our main problem these days is getting him to sleep without being in the swing first. He'll fall asleep during that last feed, but the instant you put him in the crib he wakes up and hasn't figured out how to put himself back to sleep yet. So we bring him out, put him in the swing and once he's asleep again, move him to the crib. Again. Now, MOST of the time that works...but there are other times where he wakes up as soon as he touches the crib, even after the swing. Those are the nights that take an hour to get him down, because we repeat the swing scenario until it works. Which it will, eventually.

He should be crawling before long, I think. He's sort of doing it now - he pushes with his legs and scoots around, but he doesn't actually crawl. No using his arms or anything. In the PNP the child damn near does headstands! He gets his head in the corner while he's on his tummy and just pushes with his legs, which does nothing but push his little butt up in to the air! I have a feeling I'm going to miss his first crawl. Why? Because I decided to go back to school and he spends M/W at Wilma's place until about 1:00 when I get out of class. T/Th my MIL comes over and watches him until either I get out of class (Tuesdays) or Aaron gets home (Thursdays). Aaron has class on Tuesday evenings too and gets out about the same time I do.

As for the coming unglued, it involves the MIL. Is anyone really surprised? When we first found out we were pregnant, I told her that no one was allowed to hold or be around the Boy if they'd been smoking...and I meant it, and she knew I did. She completely quit just before he was born...and then her dad died and she started up again. She'll use any excuse, I swear to God. Not that her dad dying wasn't stressful, and I know that smokers (or previously smokers) will smoke (or start to again) in periods of high stress. That was almost 5 months ago, and she hasn't stopped again. And? I can no longer forbid her from being around him. Why? Because I decided to go back to school. I *need* her to watch him twice a week while I'm in classes. The university has a child care program, but it has an almost year-long waiting list most of the time. Which means I *might* get him in next fall, if I'm lucky. I don't want to impose on Wilma any more than I have to, and we can't afford regular day care, so I'm relying on the MIL to watch him for me. And that, my friends, leaves me no legs to stand on. I'm in a corner with no way out until May when school ends for the least until next fall, when I hope that I get into the child care.

I told Aaron that she'd smoke at the house because I couldn't stop her and I was right. When we BOUGHT the house from them, I ordered them outside to smoke, and they complied. Until one day, when I was in the front room, I could smell smoke through the vents. I walked very quietly from the front to the back and caught her smoking in her chair. She apologized and went on and on, not that I believed her for one instant. Today I stepped on a cigarette butt in the pantry. We have only one friend who smokes, and he voluntarily smokes outside (no matter where he is) and I'm assuming he tosses the butts in our outside garbage. Or maybe he puts them in his pockets and throws them away at home - I don't know and I don't care. He doesn't hold my son, so he can do whatever the hell he wants. Am I wrong to be pissed about this? She and I have had MANY discussions about her smoking while we were trying to get pregnant. I tried and tried to tell her how much she was hurting OUR reproductive health, since she doesn't appear to give a rats' ass about her own. She wanted a grandchild, but refused to stop smoking to help us. And now that we have her long-awaited grandchild? She refuses to stop smoking for HIS health. I don't understand and I doubt I ever will. If anyone has suggestions, I'm open to them. For now, I'm going to go do something that will hopefully calm me down before I throw something.

Friday, July 22, 2011

In trouble now!

The Boy has been rolling onto his side for several weeks, but no farther than that. Not any more!

Earlier today he was on his playmat, making burbling noises, when suddenly the noises changed. I looked over and he was on his tummy, one leg on either side of the arch that goes over the mat. Being a mean mommy, I rolled him back over but he wouldn't do it again. Aaron got home and played with him a bit, then left him on his back on a blanket...I watched, and the Boy rolled AGAIN. So Aaron rolled him back, walked away, and watched...sure enough, once again. He left him there, went to make dinner, and I looked up...and he was on his back again! I asked Aaron if he'd flipped him, he said no - so that means that on the same day, the Boy rolled back to front to back.

We are in SO much trouble! I remember reading that the muscles they develop to go front to back are the same ones used for crawling, and that crawling isn't far behind the ability to roll front to back. The Boy will be 4 months old on the 4th of August. I can't WAIT to tell the doc on the 8th!

Monday, July 18, 2011


A friend of mine over on LJ posted his answers to an interview and invited us to request being interviewed. Not one who is usually invited into stuff like that, I jumped at it. Here are his questions to me and my answers:

1. Why Tigger?
 The first Hundred Acre Woods themed item I ever received as a gift was a musical snow globe with all of the characters, plus Christopher Robin. I was using the name of another famous orange cat as my screen name at that time, but Tigger fit me better at the time I received said gift. Apparently my family thought so too, as I began receiving a lot of Tigger items as gifts for Christmas and birthdays. Now everyone knows I collect them! Tigger also fits my online personality a lot better. Real life, I feel more like an Eeyore, but online I have more freedom, more friends. Which is not to say that I say/do things online that I wouldn't say/do in real life, but more that I don't have to watch myself nearly as closely. I CAN say exactly what I want! :)

2. You and five people from your flist each get one super power. Who gets what?
 I shall take the power to light stuff on fire. Fire is useful for a great many things, not the least of which is defense. Plus? It's just plain fun!
To Mel, the power of flight. She does so much for so many, I think the power of flight would make it easier on her to do all she wants and still have plenty of time for the twins!
To Gwendomama, the power to bend time. I'm quite certain she could make good use of it!
To Cathy, the power to heal. Being able to take care of things herself without having to deal with docs would be a very large help, I think.
To Jess goes the power of cloning. Being able to clone ones self and be in several places at once without upsetting anyone would be quite useful, imo.
To MeiLin, the power of the force. "you don't want this bpal, give it to me" is something I can TOTALLY see her doing!

And remember, people, "With great power comes great responsibility".

3. If you could live in any place and time, what would you choose?
I have debated this all night and you know what conclusion I came to? Me neither! I was trying to find a time when life was easier, or better to women/men in general, and I realized that there just isn't one. All times and places have their downsides, no matter how perfect it may have seemed. With the tech and medical knowledge we have now, it's actually one of the better times to live! Now if it was a FICTIONAL place, I know where I'd like to be.

4. You're going to be stuck on a desert island. You get to take five things with you. Whatever you want. Real or fictional, alive or inanimate. Anything, as long as the main purpose isn't to facilitate your escape. Food, shelter, and solar-powered multimedia player included free. What's on your list?
First item is a towel. Douglas Adams tells us that it is "about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have" and while I'm not an interstellar hitchhiker, being stranded on a desert island is certainly a place where you want to have all the useful things you can.
Second item: a Pipboy. Fallout has taught me the many uses of a pipboy, including carrying things for me so I don't have to have an entire luggage set in order to carry my things.
Third thing I would take would be clothes. Just because there's shelter doesn't mean there are items to wear to protect me when I am outdoors or help provide warmth when it's cold - shelter is simply something that protects you from the elements.
Fourth  would be a Kindle. Depending on how long I'm stuck, I'd have a large variety of books to read since it has a 2-month batter life. If I choose fictional, I say a solar-powered one so it never dies. Entertainment! Things to keep me from going crazy stuck in my own head.
Last, but not least, my husband. I get to take things that are alive, yes? So husband. With him at my side I can get through anything!

5. What is your proudest accomplishment to date?
Predictably, having my son and managing NOT to kill him in the last 3 1/2 months due to my own ineptness. Yeah, yeah, people have been first time parents for a very very long time and most of the time the child does not die due to their parents not knowing what in the hell they are doing. Considering it took six years to get pregnant with this child, I think someone just didn't think I knew what I was doing enough to let me have one! Now that Mom has joined that someone, this might very well be her idea of a practical joke...with consequences. I mean, I can't keep a PLANT alive, so keeping the child alive and healthy is something for me to be proud of! Ok, so it seems like I'm not taking it seriously. I am. You should know by now that I handle things with humor when they are too serious for me to really deal with.

If you want me to interview you, let me know in the comments and leave your blog link if you don't think I already have it!

Sunday, July 17, 2011


I know several bloggers have babies/children that have been diagnosed with silent reflux. What are the symptoms? When the Boy spits up, it's usually if he's been laying down after a feed - which he does almost all the time, because he plays after he eats and he can't sit up yet. It does not, however, happen every time I lay him down after a feed.

There doesn't seem to be a pattern. It doesn't seem to matter if he burps or not, whether it's hot in the house or cooler, whether he's all bundled up in the Woombie (which is still cool!) or if he's in a onesie. Doesn't matter who is holding him to feed him. Sometimes it happens when I put him in the swing, but not nearly as often as it does when he lays down. Could this BE reflux? What do I do to fix it? It's not like it's a problem for ME, but it does upset him (especially if it's particularly forceful) and it comes out his nose (because of the cleft) which I'm sure can't be comfortable. Sometimes, too, it happens when he sneezes! I'm going to guess that's because of the cleft again, that some formula is sitting near the opening to the nasal passage and just comes out when he sneezes. If something is wrong, though, I want to do what I need to in order to fix it. We HAVE tried a different formula - the one we normally use is lactose based, so we switched to a corn based one and there was no difference.